FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
