Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Randomize
