It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina is officially offended.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
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