every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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