The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Randomize