The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
