He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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