return my video game
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
