So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
