Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
