Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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