You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Randomize
