He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
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We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
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He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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