So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Dear god my vagina.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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