the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
