so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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