wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I would ride that face into the sunset
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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