so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
