NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
