I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
