Texts From Last Night

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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought

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  (405): I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo (918): Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought http://tfl.nu/a8il
  Replies (33) Good night (1179) Bad night (2087)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  What's wrong?

  (1-503): View more from Oregon

  Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.

  (503): View more from Oregon

  Pussy.

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  (503): What's wrong? (1-503): Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans. (503): Pussy. http://tfl.nu/sltt
  Replies (18) Good night (856) Bad night (2203)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks

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  (484): Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah (215): Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks http://tfl.nu/j7v7
  Replies (11) Good night (3585) Bad night (809)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same

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  (480): I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same http://tfl.nu/efli
  Replies (6) Good night (486) Bad night (3010)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  meet me or not, i'm out of control

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  (303): meet me or not, i'm out of control http://tfl.nu/t1zj
  Replies (29) Good night (3395) Bad night (648)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.

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  (410): just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks. http://tfl.nu/gf3t
  Replies (13) Good night (6057) Bad night (1237)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list

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  (647): Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list http://tfl.nu/yikq
  Replies (23) Good night (4933) Bad night (861)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....

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  (630): The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time.... http://tfl.nu/q5xm
  Replies (5) Good night (3046) Bad night (1383)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?

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  (847): I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt? http://tfl.nu/o3a9
  Replies (6) Good night (1235) Bad night (2188)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.

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  (603): A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you. http://tfl.nu/2hjp
  Replies (4) Good night (2625) Bad night (572)
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  (606): View more from Kentucky

  If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.

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  (606): If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now. http://tfl.nu/nnuj
  Replies (3) Good night (1842) Bad night (659)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  It's a good cause. For your vagina.

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  (603): It's a good cause. For your vagina. http://tfl.nu/54ey
  Replies (5) Good night (947) Bad night (748)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me

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  (614): It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me http://tfl.nu/sahk
  Replies (19) Good night (1767) Bad night (432)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.

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  (304): You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob. http://tfl.nu/lajt
  Replies (17) Good night (428) Bad night (764)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet

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  (720): Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet http://tfl.nu/1g40
  Replies (4) Good night (989) Bad night (172)

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