Texts From Last Night

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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you

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  (715): I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you http://tfl.nu/l21x
  Replies (18) Good night (916) Bad night (2087)
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  (518): View more from New York

  Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.

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  (518): Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird. http://tfl.nu/mxsq
  Replies (8) Good night (691) Bad night (2133)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.

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  (954): I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened. http://tfl.nu/wvm1
  Replies (38) Good night (3042) Bad night (972)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.

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  (309): I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust. http://tfl.nu/mc9g
  Replies (6) Good night (6072) Bad night (1058)
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.

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  (864): Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw. http://tfl.nu/6c9n
  Replies (21) Good night (3488) Bad night (2507)
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  (315): View more from New York

  That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"

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  (315): That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm" http://tfl.nu/evrk
  Replies (7) Good night (897) Bad night (3004)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.

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  (704): He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that. http://tfl.nu/dgzr
  Replies (6) Good night (1764) Bad night (1219)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".

  (416): View more from Toronto

  That's about an "8" on normal scales.

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  (416): I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him". (416): That's about an "8" on normal scales. http://tfl.nu/joyf
  Replies (7) Good night (2785) Bad night (980)
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  (925): View more from California

  Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.

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  (925): Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis. http://tfl.nu/pfu8
  Replies (13) Good night (1377) Bad night (731)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.

  (360): View more from Washington

  DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.

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  (360): Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid. (360): DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY. http://tfl.nu/38em
  Replies (8) Good night (2671) Bad night (576)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.

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  (440): I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me. http://tfl.nu/i18g
  Replies (8) Good night (416) Bad night (987)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face

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  (403): i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face http://tfl.nu/onze
  Replies (11) Good night (1026) Bad night (599)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress

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  (202): he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress http://tfl.nu/kmvd
  Replies (6) Good night (1399) Bad night (394)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.

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  (413): Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days. http://tfl.nu/0sic
  Replies (7) Good night (729) Bad night (597)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.

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  (615): I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher. http://tfl.nu/1rku
  Replies (4) Good night (489) Bad night (559)

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