Texts From Last Night

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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.

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  (262): So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt. http://tfl.nu/9ocn
  Replies (24) Good night (671) Bad night (5212)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?

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  (703): Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck? http://tfl.nu/yx1h
  Replies (185) Good night (4202) Bad night (1269)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.

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  (503): iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane. http://tfl.nu/zl9e
  Replies (18) Good night (6594) Bad night (1212)
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  (229): View more from Georgia

  He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.

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  (229): He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him. http://tfl.nu/c2pz
  Replies (12) Good night (6580) Bad night (1160)
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...

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  (504): they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am... http://tfl.nu/k8x7
  Replies (13) Good night (2819) Bad night (1059)
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  (510): View more from California

  I'm trying to make a sex playlist

  (916): View more from California

  record yourself crying and put it on a loop.

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  (510): I'm trying to make a sex playlist (916): record yourself crying and put it on a loop. http://tfl.nu/f4y5
  Replies (12) Good night (3374) Bad night (1318)
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  (925): View more from California

  He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.

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  (925): He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept. http://tfl.nu/niyr
  Replies (23) Good night (3346) Bad night (715)
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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.

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  (270): True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor. http://tfl.nu/bso0
  Replies (11) Good night (2123) Bad night (1147)
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  (718): View more from New York

  Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.

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  (718): Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover. http://tfl.nu/imva
  Replies (5) Good night (1812) Bad night (617)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!

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  (913): To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor! http://tfl.nu/4jfz
  Replies (10) Good night (1959) Bad night (634)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises

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  (843): I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises http://tfl.nu/gq7h
  Replies (3) Good night (950) Bad night (513)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.

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  (419): Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me. http://tfl.nu/g7iq
  Replies (10) Good night (1189) Bad night (480)
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father

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  (302): I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father http://tfl.nu/aa2i
  Replies (8) Good night (966) Bad night (383)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day

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  (419): I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day http://tfl.nu/2i69
  Replies (1) Good night (707) Bad night (295)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.

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  (616): if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right. http://tfl.nu/9n53
  Replies (1) Good night (640) Bad night (271)

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