it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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