Apparently you make a good broom.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
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Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
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I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.