dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Randomize
