just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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