Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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