she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize