She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Randomize
