You made me cry and you don't even care
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
