She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
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i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
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You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
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