porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
