If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
