What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Randomize
