The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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