We're facebook friends in real life
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
