I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Randomize
