oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
