we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
