Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
