You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
