I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
