I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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