Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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