They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
That was an excessively violent trivia night
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize
