yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
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