Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize