You can't motorboat a personality
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Green mimosas i think yes
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
