Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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