Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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