Duck Duck Cougar?
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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