Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I just found puke in my bra..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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