dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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