Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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