I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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