wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
