my vag is so smooth its legendary
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Randomize