Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
