You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
