the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize